Hello, Goodbye...

When you start a new job, you never know who you will meet, what types of people will cross your path. When I started my current job, I was nervous, not knowing if there were people in my department that I would get along with. A simple thing, but much like a kid at a new school, I wondered, who will I eat lunch with? Yes, a very simple thing, your lunch break, but in the working world, it seems to mean as much as it does when you are a kid in the cafeteria. I quickly found people in my office who were nice, genuinely sweet people. I found out who was the most helpful, who had all the office gossip, who you could vent with when having a rough day. Slowly, some of these people also started to become my friends and being “the new girl” didn’t seem so bad. No matter how long you are at a job, we all know that you are “the new person” until someone else starts.

Lucky for me, I was only “the new girl” in my office for a month, then Lisa started. I knew she was cool when I first met her, and although her first week was a crazy busy one (not to mention that she had the worst cold/sinus icky thing ever), I knew she would not only be a wonderful asset to our team, but that we would get along great. Lisa is one of those people who always seems to be able to make you laugh and always has a smile on her face, even when she is stressed out. As the two new members on our team, we stuck together quite often, helping one another balance as we learned the ropes of the membership world. She helped me run a Daisy troop of 15 very energetic Kindergartners last year and I in turn helped her run a Brownie troop of 18 very chatty and opinionated 2nd and 3rd graders. We had fun, stressed a little, and learned a lot.

Lisa had a big year, not only did she have her new job at GS, but she also got engaged, planned a wedding and got married. Several of us went to the wedding and had a great time celebrating the happiness of our co-worker and friend. Along with a few other ladies, Lisa has become a friend as well as someone I work with. She is pretty much just awesome. Well, today is what we (as an inside joke) would call a sad face with tear. It’s Lisa’s last day. I am super excited for her, as her new job is something in the field she studied and is an amazing opportunity for her. As a co-worker, I am sad, but as a friend, I am happy. I will definitely miss her around the office.

So, I am definitely in a down and somewhat mopey mood today. I will be handling one additional service area for a while, until someone new starts and takes over those areas, but the additional work doesn’t bother me. I see it as an opportunity to show what I can do, to make the transition as between Membership Specialists as easy as possible for our volunteers. Also, I like a challenge! Today is a sad face with tear kind of a day. At least there is a 3 day weekend to look forward to! A change in the office is never easy for me, as I tend to get attached to the people I spend so many hours with every day. Change is good, right? Yeah, sure. Fine. Really, fine. Here's to a change that is hopefully positive for everyone in some way. Lisa, my friend, I'll miss you!

Raise Your Glass

Today I turn 28. Not an exceptionally exciting age. 28 does not bring something new, like the excitement of getting your license at 16, being able to vote at 18,or being able to legally drink at 21, or even something like the cost of car insurance going down at age 25. On the other hand, it does not have a particularly negative connotation, such as how some people feel about turning 30 or 40 or 50. It's just another age, a step that officially moves me from my mid-twenties to my late-twenties. Twenty-eight, does anyone make a huge deal out of age 28? I'm not quite sure to be honest.


Another birthday has come and like many people, I catch myself thinking about what I have accomplished, what I haven't accomplished. Let's see:

          1. I have a college degree (perhaps not one that in an area that is particularly useful right now, but I am educated and that is more than some people can say)

          2. I have a job, a job that I love. (Again, more than a lot of people can say)

          3. I have moved away and lived on my own. (Arizona was quite a distance away from little Springfield, IL, but I went and gave it my best shot. It might not have been the right city for me, but it is an experience I am glad that I had.)

          4. I have traveled. (Most people can't say that their first plane ride was an overseas flight to Europe and I am lucky that I can. I have been lucky enough to travel to several countries, seeing amazing sites and falling in love with the cultures, the people, the languages, the food, the beauty, the experience of travel in general. Now, I just wish to do more of this!)

          5. I have loved and been loved. (I am not talking about a great love with a significant other, but rather the fact that I am loved by family, loved by my dear friends, and love them just as much. I enjoy the connection with others, the warm, fuzzy, happy feeling I get when I tell a good friend how much I miss them or write them that I am thinking of them that day, the feeling I get when my parents or grandparents tell me that they are proud of me, the little kid hugs and kisses from my niece and nephew.)

To many people, these may not seem like big accomplishments, but to me they are just right, they are the things that matter. Perhaps what I have done does not shine like the things others have accomplished by age 28, but you can decide for yourself. By age 28:

          1. The Danish physicist Niels Bohr had published his revolutionary theory of the atom.

          2. County music star Brad Paisley became the youngest member of the Opry.

          3. Tchaikovsky was enjoying fame after composing "Romeo and Juliet."

          4. Speed skater Bonnie Blair had won 3 Olympic Gold Medals.

          5. Mary Shelley had written and published her famous novel, "Frankenstein."

          6. Audrey Hepburn had won the Oscar for "Roman Holiday."

          7. Amelia Earhart became the 16th woman ever to be issued a pilot's license.

These are some amazing feats and have to say that my ambitions, while perhaps not made of things that will be bring me international fame and fortune, are things that are important to me, things that are powered by the things I have already accomplished. I plan to celebrate in a rather low-key way, dinner and drinks with friends and a small family celebration. It is perfect for me, a celebration that will find me surrounded by many of those that hold dear (those of you who are not here in person are definitely with me in spirit). Nothing flashy about it, but you can bet that the soles I wear will be!

As Pink says in her new song, "...raise your glass." Here's to 28, a year that I intend to fill with lots of soul, and plenty of new soles!

Giving Thanks

So, everyone has been writing posts this last week about what they are thankful for and how grateful they are for the people and things in their lives, expressing their joy at being blessed with certain things. I am grateful for many things, for the people in my life, for people who may no longer be a big part of my life, for places, for moments, for opportunities, for the little things, and so on. After much consideration, here is the one thing I felt most thankful for yesterday:

Thanksgiving, the holiday itself. I am thankful for the holidays, for them coming around again each year, for the calculated times to celebrate all that we have, to be together with family and friends, to share food and drink and laughter, stories and a good time. I am of the belief that we should be in the holiday spirit more often, not just those six weeks where we celebrate Thanksgiving, Advent, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's, or as new GAP commercials say, "Have a Happy Whatever-you-wanna-kah!" Love it!

So, this year, I am thankful for the holidays, for the times I know I will get to spend with my family, with friends, both the new and the old. Oh, and there is always the fact that I didn't have to cook my own turkey this year...

Walk It Off

We all know the phrase, “Walk it off.” At moments when you are overwhelmed by life and upset at the world and especially your current situation or circumstances, people often say, “walk it off.” Well, what do you do when you want to walk away from everything, but your mind is racing to keep up with you? I used to take walks to clear my head when I was upset and overwhelmed by life. It was a way for me to not have to focus on anything, just let me feet go and the rest of me, mind and body, would follow. Then, I started walking for exercise. I don’t really like exercising, and the word itself often makes me cringe and I head in the exact opposite direction, straight for my couch and a snack. But, I have found that I do enjoy getting my exercise when I walk. I put on my I-pod and just go, letting the beat of the music lead me.

When I was living in Phoenix, surrounded by mountains and a wonderful view, started taking walks that served a dual purpose. They, of course, allowed me to get my exercise (especially considering there are a lot of hills in the area that I walk in), but they are also a good time, since I was joined on these walks by my good friend, Kevin. To explain quickly, Kevin was the first friend I made in Phoenix, a very close friend, one of those friends that every girl needs, the sweet, fun, and awesome gay guy. So, Kevin and I took walks through these lovely neighborhoods, up on the hills of Camelback Mountain, overlooking central Phoenix. The houses are gorgeous, many with gated drives, so we would of course peek in wherever we could. I found that these walks, ones that normally would have helped me to “walk it off,” to escape from my thoughts and the rest of the world, actually have the opposite effect. These walks often made my mind race, so by the end of the journey, not only were my legs tired, but my brain as well. Kevin said all kinds of nice things and we had great conversations, some light-hearted and some heart-to-heart. It is the latter that made my mind run faster than my feet. Unfortunately for my mind, my feet got to rest when I returned to my apartment and curled up on the couch, but it did not. It continued running, chasing me, although I don’t know where I was headed mentally or emotionally, I just kept going.

I would love to recapture the time when a walk was simply that, not a time to exercise for the good of my body, or to chat and think, for the good (or demise perhaps) of my mind. I long for these moments to simply be for me, for the whole me, all of me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love sharing those moments with good company now and then, and if I wanted to walk alone, I would. But, perhaps these real physical walks are like our walk through life – we are not meant to walk our road, to take this journey alone. And, perhaps my thoughts, as fast as they chase the rest of me, are there so that I am not alone, just like my good friend Kevin was. He was there, right by my side, walking along beside me, not only as we trekked around my neighborhood, but also as we trekked on through the new lives we were both living there. Our journeys have now taken us elsewhere, him back to Missouri and me back to Illinois. We may not take physical walks together anymore, but I know he is there, walking beside me through life as my friend. Maybe I will find a new walking buddy here in Springfield, and perhaps the days of my solo walks, my empty mind are gone. But, I can just “Walk it off.”

A Meeting of Souls, Part One

I often write about my life, what is going on, what is affecting my soul at the moment. There are other souls that are an important part of my blog, simply because they are an important part of my life, the matter to my heart, to my soul. The say that some people leave footprints on our hearts, and the people here have definitely left their special mark on the sands of my soul. I would like to introduce you to some of the souls that make my soul happy.

Meet Darlene!

Darlene and I met a few years ago at a mutual friend's birthday party. We became friends right away, having so much fun laughing and being just downright silly! She is such a real person, never fake, always honest and sincere. Darlene always makes me laugh, is always up for anything, and is someonee I can truly relax with, be myself and have fun! I affectionately call her my Secret Squirrel and she calls me the same thing (it is an inside joke, we know it is weird, but we love it!). Just for her, here is a shout out: "Foam Booty Panty, Woo!" Don't ask... well, or ask and you will get a great story! Darlene is a great friend and someone I know will be in my life for a very long time. We all need someone to laugh with, to just chill with, enjoy simple pleasures and many many inside jokes. My Squirrel is definitely this type of friend and her friendship is good for my soul.

Meet David!

David and I have been friends since high school and have been

through a lot together. We have definitely had our ups and downs and have grown as people as we grew as friends. He is someone I can't imagine my life without, someone who has truly seen me at my worst and has continued to be my friend, to love me anyway. Our friendship has changed, matured through the years and has become a comfort, something I know I can always count on. We have been through both high school and college together, lived together for a year, shared vacations, helped each other through countless relationships, family drama, big moves, and everything in between. Some people say we are a lot like Will and Grace, and yes, our relationship may have some of the characteristics of the quintessential gay man/straight woman relationship, but we are definitely us, David and Nina. We don't see each other too often these days, as he has been living in the Chicago area for the last few years. I cherish the times we can get together and share good times. He will always have a special place in my life and in my heart, our souls being connected in a special way.

Meet Erika!

Erika was one of the first people I met when I moved to Phoenix, as she worked at TPS. Erika is an awesome person and always has a smile. She is self-proclaimed "ghetto" since she is from Mesa (which if you are familiar with the Phoenix area, you understand! hehehe) We always had fun doing girly stuff together, shopping, mani/pedis, gossiping, and so much more. We had a great time working in the Box Office together, making the hours fly by with great conversations! She was one of the biggest supporters of this my blog when I started and still is. I also now read and support her blog efforts - check her out at http://amerikasweetness-erika.blogspot.com/; she is awesome! I love Erika's spunk, her good times attitude and how she is always a good listener, making a bad day better with a smile and some good advice. As a married gal she always listened to me babble about men and I am sure was amused by the stories! I miss working with her, but we do our best to stay in touch now that we are 1600 miles apart. I know she and I will be friends for a long time!

Meet Amy!

Amy and I met under some, well... interesting circumstances, but have come to be great friends. She is a sweet, genuine person, and an extremely talented writer. Her blog and her support is what convinced me to start mine, to make a place to share my stories and thoughts with the world and I owe her so much for that! You must, I repeat, must, check her out at http://justatitch.com/. Amy and I started talking online, finding out as we went that we share many interests - good books, baking/cooking, writing, and so many more. We have similar taste in many things - music, books, movies, and yes, even men (and I am glad we can laugh about this now!) Our friendship evolved and we finally met in person a few weeks ago. It was so great putting a face, a real person to voice she shares online. The ideas, the stories, the advice, the "girl talk," well, we share those via the Internet due to our geographical distance, but I know we share a true friendship, a connection that, though it had an odd start, was meant to be. I so enjoy talking with her and sharing our experiences. Amy is a great person with so much to share and experiences that give her a viewpoint and outlook that are fresh, enlightening, empowering, thought-provoking and just plain fabulous! I look forward to the day we can hang out in person again!

These are just a few of the souls that touch my soul, that are an important part of my life. I hope that getting to know these souls you will better know mine. Check back often, as you are likely to meet other souls. What souls touch your soul? Leave a comment and share! I love meeting new souls!

Souls vs. Soles

Anyone who knows me knows that there are certain things that I am very passionate about. Okay, so they are not all what most people would call “worthwhile causes,” something like a charity or the environment, things like that, but that does not in any way make me shallow. I feel it means that I know what I like and that I stick with those things, which by the way, does not make me boring either. Perhaps I am somewhat of a creature of habit, but if you really think about it, people who are labeled as such simply know what they are comfortable with, what makes them feel good. As long as you can step outside that comfort zone now and then, I think you are a pretty well-adjusted and normal person (me, normal, ha!) But, I digress…. Back to what I am passionate about (although I will not list everything…): Number 1: My Friends and Number 2: Fabulous Shoes. Now, these may seem completely unrelated, but I feel that they can be quite similar.

For example, we all have those friends that we have had forever, people who have known us throughout many stages in our lives, who have loved us despite our bad choices and even worse haircuts. These relationships are not always pretty to look at, as they are usually full of blunt honesty, and as we all know, honesty is not always pretty and sometimes can be downright ugly. These friends are the ones we go back to when things get tough because they keep us grounded and remind us of who we really are and reassure us of who we can become. Sadly sometimes, we lose touch with these old friends, not talking to them for weeks or months at a time, but when the shit hits the fan, these are the people we call and turn to for comfort. Comfort, see that is the connection between these friends and shoes. These old friends, the ones with whom we have a bluntly honest, sometimes pretty, sometimes ugly, sometimes, exciting, sometimes boring relationship, are like an old pair of shoes. Now, I do not mean some gross old pair you see discarded in the trash, but rather that one pair of comfortable old tennis shoes or sandels, the ones that are so comfortable that you can’t bear to get rid of them, but you keep them hidden in the back of your closet because you don’t want everyone to see them. You don’t wear them out with your best outfit for an evening on the town (even though they would be way more comfortable than the 5 inch stilettos that you did chose), but rather slip them on when you run to the bank, the grocery store, the pharmacy at 2 AM for cold medicine and tissues. These shoes may not be the most fashionable ones in your closet, but they are true, they are supportive, they are comfortable, and you always know you can slip into them when you need a reassuring sole. Just like those old friends, comfortable, with a reassuring soul.

You see ladies, a woman can combine her passions, even if it is just metaphorically. Let’s see here… you know those new friends, the ones who you meet when you move to a new place or start a new job, join a new club or a new gym (probably while wearing the old comfy tennis shoes by the way). These friends are fun, they are exciting, they are new. They look great, even though when you get down to it, they are probably just like many of your old friends, you just don’t know it yet. I have found that oftentimes, these new friends can be like a new pair of shoes, you know, the designer pumps in this season’s hottest color. They look great, they are exciting, and yes, they can hurt. You love those shoes, just like you love those new friends. They are fun and they make you feel good, usually. Then, there are those times when they new friends can hurt you. Now, maybe it is because they don’t know you that well yet and don’t realize that jokes about a certain something (be it a tv show, a band, a hobby, etc.) will offend you. Chances are, because you really like hanging out with these new friends, you won’t say anything, but rather you will just laugh the comments off with a fake smile, taking another sip of your martini, and moving on. Now, those new shoes (yes, the ones you probably wore to hang out with those new friends), they can hurt, too. They are new and exciting (not to mention that the heels are way to high and they cost way too much) and you want to wear them all the time. But, they hurt. They start to rub just a little on your heel, your big toe, but you work through the pain, just saying thanks with a huge grin when someone compliments you on them. You would never say, oh well they are killing my feet when confronted with, “Hey, I love your shoes!” by that nice girl in your office. You would say thanks. Often in life (and fashion) we work through the pain. We put up with a certain amount of it because it betters us as people (or betters that outfit).

There is middle ground ladies, in both friendships and fashion. We have room in our lives and in our closets for both the old and comfortable and the new and exciting. And, if you are lucky, you find friends who are right there, standing tall on the middle ground. These are the new friends who you just know from the very beginning are going to become old friends, comfortable friends, friends for life. Now, this is not to say that these friendships will never involve pain, but if you really think about it, the relationships with your comfortable friends involved some, too, at some point along with road. The thing that makes these new friends so special is that you begin to feel comfortable with them right away. They are like that perfect pair of pumps, the ones that look to be just the right height to make you look sexy, but don’t kill your feet, are just the right color, matching your favorite outfit, and are on sale. These new friends offer you the best of everything, the right amount of comfort and excitement, and they fit right in, matching the tapestry that is your life. Oh, and the price is right, their friendship doesn’t cost you anything other than yours in return.

Like most of you, I have friends that fit into all three categories, the old and comfortable, the new and painful, and the new that are just the right fit. I think we are meant to have all of these people in our lives. Having old friends with whom things are settled and comfortable makes you appreciate the new friends, the excitement of beginning new relationships. At the same time, the new friends, with all of the uncertainty that comes with these new relationships, makes you appreciate the old friends, the ones you know so well. And then the new and comfy friends, the ones that seem to fit so well, to help you weave together all the others, enriching the fabric of your life with their brightness and strength. We all love our old comfy shoes and value our old comfy friends, the tried and true. We all have those new shoes and friends, the ones we have break in, working through the uncertainty and even some pain. And then, the others, the ones who when you put them on seem perfect, they look great and feel great. And the friend who do the same, they are exciting and fun, your friendship full of new memories and adventures, but who seem to fit just right. I feel lucky to have each of these types of friends in my life, as it is my friends whom I hold most dear. I truly believe that friends are the family you chose for yourself. But, don’t forget about the shoes, each chosen carefully to be part of not only your wardrobe, but your life. Choose carefully those around you, both the souls and the soles.