They Call it Daybreak for a Reason....

“Morning has broken, like the first morning

Blackbird has spoken, like the first bird
Praise for the singing, praise for the morning
Praise for the springing fresh from the word.”


GAG ME!
Morning and I co-exist because we have to, not at all because I want to. I am not a morning person, I never have been and I probably never will be. That’s okay with me. Some people are morning people, they wake with smiles on their faces, ready to greet the day. They happily jump out of bed, bright and refreshed. They greet everyone with cheeriness, with or without a cup of coffee. It makes me sick. I will never be one of these people. It is okay that they are that way, but if you are this type of chipper morning person, stay away from me!


I wake in the morning because that is what is expected of a person. Yes, I like my sleep, I covet it, I long for it when the sun goes down. Even, on the rare occasions, that I do get enough sleep, enough to feel truly rested, I am still not a morning person. I will always hit the snooze button, I will always mentally try and figure out how to squeeze in a few more restful moments in my comfy nest of pillows and blankets.


I move slowly once I get out of bed and usually, my eyes are not fully open for the first 20 minutes or so that I am in a vertical state of being. My morning state of being is very zombie-like, groggy, slow, I grunt and mumble more than I form actual words and have actual conversations. Sometimes the shower awakens me, but sometimes not. Consider yourselves warned, if you cross my path in the morning, you should step aside and not speak until spoken to. Seriously.


I try not to be a bitch in the morning, but people who do not understand that there cheeriness makes me want to vomit, well, they get the wrath of Christina. It happens. Sorry for that. And don't even get me started on the "have to have breakfast right out of bed" people. Ewwwww. Sick. No thank you! If I am not awake yet, I am not going to eat, and it would benefit you greatly if you did not offer me breakfast before I have indicated I might be interested in something. Eating first thing in the morning is something I have never understood, even as a kid. Back in the grade school days, my mom would have to beg me, force me to eat breakfast before school, and oftentimes, I would not actually consume anything until we were in the car, pulling into the school parking lot. It just doesn't work for me. If it works for you, fine, but don't force me to join you, at least until I am fully functional. Oh and if you are thinking of something fried, please kindly go away.


“Good Morning” is a common greeting from one person to another in the AM hours, but when you greet me, you will get this response from me: “Morning.” It is simply a statement of the time of day and has nothing to do with my mental state, my enthusiasm at seeing you, the weather report for the day, or the fact that sun may be shining. Morning is just that, a time of day. We all function differently, being ruled so often by not only our (often) hectic schedules, but our internal clocks. My internal clock, well it is stuck on a perpetual snooze button. I am unlikely to take joy in seeing the sun rise, but would be more than happy to enjoy a beautiful painted sunset with you!

So, people, are you happy in the morning? Are you grumpy? Are you an eager waker? Are you slow to shake off the sleepiness? Tell me... but not too early in the morning, okay?