Oftentimes I find myself knowing that there will be consequences to my actions, and not always good ones. Unfortunately, I give in, a lot. The things that tempt each of us are different. For me, there are things like an extra scoop of ice cream, an extra large bowl of chips and dip for a snack at a time when a small one would suffice. There are things like that one more drink when you are having fun with friends, even though you know you have to drive home, the one more hour of TV that you just had to stay up to watch even though you know you will be exhausted in the morning. Aside from these material things, consuming something, I find that people are often the source of my temptation. I am tempted to continue to forge relationships (and I use that word ever so lightly) with individuals who have hurt me in the past, with people who don’t seem to work as hard to form or build or keep said relationship with me. Sometimes I hold on to long to friendships, tempted simply by memories of what used to be, hopeful that it can be that way still or again.
Perhaps temptation for some is a lack of willpower, the inability to say no to something you really want. I can admit that while I do have my moments of weakness and enjoy that extra cookie (see subtext of I ate a whole tube of Thin Mints), that extra scoop of dip with my chips, I do have willpower most of the time. I know that I make my decisions, be they good or bad for me, and when I give in to these types of things, I know I am doing it and choosing to do so. I can accept (not always happily) the consequences later (see not wearing a smaller size in jeans). The more I think about it, the more that I am coming to believe that my weakness is being, at times, a glutton for punishment. I know when something is more than likely going to hurt me, but I welcome it anyway, either because, as the song says, “it’s alright because I like the way it hurts,” or because I enjoy the initial satisfaction, temporarily blinded to the all-too-familiar outcome. There is a fine line between being tempted and simply being gullible. Being gullible is, in my opinion, like living in a bubble, being naive and perhaps even uneducated at times. I see it as a choice. I think temptation, on the other hand, is part of life, something we all deal with, and anyone who says they always resist temptation, no matter its form, is a liar. No one is perfect and we all have those things that tempt us that we seem almost powerless against. Every Superman has his Kryptonite.
While learning to be strong against temptation is a good goal, I think the strongest of us embrace it as part of life. Temptation is a test perhaps, a test of our willpower, our inner strength, our beliefs and values, a test of who we are as people. Each of us is tempted differently, and while I try to get to know my sources of temptation and realize why they taunt me so, I can admit defeat. That’s not easy for me because I don’t like to give in, I don’t like to lose, but no one can win all the time, no one ever does. Perfection is one of the hardest things not to expect from oneself, especially when we so often expect it from others. Perhaps Eve was just like the rest of us, and whatever her true reasons for eating that apple were (I am sure like most women she had her secrets), she gave in. That doesn’t mean she always gave in or would have given in had the source of temptation been different. What if it hadn’t been the serpent? What if it hadn’t been an apple? What if the consequences had been different? Would she have acted and/or reacted the same way? Temptation is a personal thing and just like we can never understand the circumstances surrounding this historical temptation, we can never truly understand the temptations of others. It is something we all have to live with individually, and try not to judge others on. Perhaps I like being tempted. Perhaps I like being given the chance to flex my will and say no. Perhaps I like giving in at times. As we all know, that apple was sweet, but….
I think we all have our temptations (mine usually involve chocolate and champagne) and giving in once in awhile is fine. When it comes to the people situation, I do similar things, but I try and approach it from a place of doing it for myself: do I want to make contact because I want them back in my life? Am I willing to accept how I might feel if they don't reciprocate? I find that if I do things freely, without expecting anything in return, then I am less crushed by the consequences and/or response to said actions. That way, I spend less time feeling like I gave into temptation and more like I was just pursuing something that was on my heart.
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